By Blood, exploring the lineage of activism in my families, and the fundamental courage I was given to use my voice. A rather informal and unfinished piece but I want to stick to my goal to publish a piece a week even when I feel it’s unfinished, so I will call this Part 1.
I want to write about my Dad, I need to write about him. Thomas Roy Havstad passed away in November 2021 and the void remains a vast one in my life and I know for many who were close to him. Brilliant, funny, humble, curious and self reflective, strong, kind, observant, disciplined, risk-taker, loyal, writer, craftsman, so loving, stubborn, fiery, open, FUN… He was and continues to be one of few people I really look up to. Since his passing it’s been hard to find words or the willingness to be open with others about him. I can’t go near his name or essence without falling to pieces. Time might be the balm, but the void left behind will never go away and that is an immutable truth I'm coming to terms with slowly.
I feel I’ve been living in a way that honors him for a very long time. I’ve wanted to make him proud my whole life. He loved to tell the story of the one soccer game in which he stood in as substitute coach for my U-10 soccer team, I scored 8 goals that game. He loved to tell that story and with a glimmer in his eye say, “What a team we are,” and that is how my relationship with my father was. He was my best coach, my biggest fan and with him in my corner, I can score 8 goals in a single match.
One of the greatest gifts he gave to me and my sisters, is that we have been raised with the fundamentals he and our mother gave us. In an interview he did with my aunt Cindy, training to be a hospice aide, he touched on this. Rather than talk about specifics he felt he gave to us, he was confident in the fundamentals he and my mom raised us with. I listen to this interview often and each time I take more from it, especially as I think about the mother I am becoming to our son, Hesston.
Last night, after Chris returned home after a long day of combining grains and baling straw, I was relieved of Mom duty and went to my sacred place along the river where I run. I grew up running with my Dad, another gift I’m so grateful he gave me was a love for running. I go to this place where the moving waters set my pace, the osprey greet my gaze, and the world falls away replaced with the sound of my gait and breath. On my run, feeling closer to him, I started to connect the dots of one of the biggest fundamentals he gave us; courage to use our voices. He was an activist in his own way, and his studies of non-violent resistance have influenced the work I find myself most drawn to in activism, agriculture & water.
I have a really big question I’ve been asked to help frame, and I want to let my thinking evolve and frame my response with the help of your input. The importance of this question can not be overstated, and I’ll be digging into this in future essays, but for now, please consider this question and I would love for you to weigh in in the comments.
What is beneficial use of water?
When I spend time with my Dad, even now that he has passed, I am still learning from him. Last night he had me thinking deeply on this statement;
“The means determine the ends.The ends do not justify the means.”
I can only focus so far as my eco-region in which I have some chance of influencing non-violent resistance. I believe deeply that the ecological breakdown of our rangelands, our very insecure water realities, development expanding in regions without enough resources for such unbridled expansions… these ecological limits are overstretched and our collective consciousness is worried.
As my mother explains, Dr. Murray Bowen predicted that ecological breakdown would coincide with / cause social deterioration. Us and ecology, of course we are directly connected. If more people understood this embodied connection of ecology and our bodies, would more people be engaged in solving our most pressing ecological threats, in taking an active role in conservation of their community they rely on TO LIVE?
Here’s the thing, it’s hubris that has allowed the type of development & the extraction of resources ((water)) to the extent we have in desert regions such as ours. Ecological limits are and will be illuminating this arrogance & ecological illiteracy with great intensity, just observe the changes in our fire cycles, water cycles, and persistent record setting heatwaves worldwide.
So where do we go? How do we participate in building a future in which the Means determine the ends we want for our children?
We need collective action, a sense of civic duty to protect one another and this place.
Water laws are going to be changing, allocation of over-allocated resources such as water will be changing the world we have known of *no limits* (( silly humans )) the question is, How will we come together?? It’s usually only in hindsight we see clearly, I hope I can be a part of a collective awakening to see clearly before it’s too late.
As always, I’m ever optimistic. Ignoring what’s coming won’t make it go away. Let’s face it together with clear eyes and thoughtful dialogue. Thank you for your input on my big question, “What is beneficial use of water?”
Love from the windy plains,
Cate
My Mom and Dad on their way to an anti-war protest near Davis, CA. My Dad dropped out of UC Davis to attend the Joan Baez School for Non-Violence. He refused induction and was prepared to go to jail for his objections to the Vietnam War. A paperwork error ultimately saved him from serving time. I hope to share more about how this time shaped his ethos and the family he would raise.
Fundamentals; a partnership like these two. My mother Laura, father Tom, and my son Hesston Thomas Casad whom my father accidentally (funny story) named.
To me beneficial water use is capturing and storing water that falls from the sky in plants and healthy ecosystems that support all the creatures. Water law is no good when there is no more easy water to get. Coming soon, and the time since you wrote and now only illuminate that point. Mother Earth will continue, and lots of life will be lost in the readjustment. Humans that are not already connected to the land will suffer. And time marches on. I enjoy your voice!
To me beneficial water use is capturing and storing water that falls from the sky in plants and healthy ecosystems that support all the creatures. Water law is no good when there is no more easy water to get. Coming soon, and the time since you wrote and now only illuminate that point. Mother Earth will continue, and lots of life will be lost in the readjustment. Humans that are not already connected to the land will suffer. And time marches on. I enjoy your voice!
Hubris & greed
Water is life